Very good, OK in copying terms excellent, in art terms you need a little help all the parts of a good drawing and portrait are there First don't include the photo it is not a commissioning page secondly don't include a writing on the page Just your signature. OK the art of good drawing is to show dark and light this then gives depth in work . Also add a little background it will give the trick of depth and make the lighter tones of white look brighter then on the face a little less shading and more white paper which will give the impression of light fall or direct light there are two kinds direst light and suggested light direct is just white paper and suggested is few tones less by adding a little flat pencil tone to lower the the paper white. Saying that your drawing is good but to make it live is why I suggest these things why we don't shadow photo is because it shows the things you did not include like the beard white the shine on the cheeks the tonal difference between the white hair and the background. I only give this detailed advise to people I think have talent. so well done